The Cost of Following Jesus
Anyway, that being said I am so glad to be back, I am
glad to be here and share what he has placed in my heart…I wanted to write
about the cost of the anointing but I think this is better…the cost of
following Jesus. I love being vulnerable here because one; it frees me from any
idea of trying to show up perfect looking like I got it together. I don’t and I
will be a fool if I make you believe I am, I show up the way I am with no
armour on, unveiling my struggles and my naked thoughts because I want you to see
my humanity, to understand that I am an earthen vessel and embracing my
humanity in the fullness of it is something God has been teaching me in this
season so yes… I am learning to love the whole of me, the strengths, the
weakness, the beauty, the ashes, the wild, the calm, the bad and the good
because they all make up who I am and nothing about me is perfect. In fact, I
don’t want to be, I just want to be human so that when you read my articles you
will see his divinity being made perfect in me…you will see scripture come true
when it says the spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us. Now
that is some good news baby!
You know another thing that makes me want to embrace
all of me, my humanity and all? David. Yes, king David…the second king of
Israel. That man was fully frank with everything he felt and I see it every
time I read his psalms. Today I was reading a story in 1st Samuel
when David had fled from Saul and camped with the philistines. He came back
from the battle after King Achish of Philistines told him to go back since the
commanders had refused to go with David and his men to battle. Okay back story about this;
David and his men had camped in Philistine after freeing from King Saul who was
seeking his life and he stayed in Philistia for over a year and gained favour
in the sight of King Achish who later wanted him to join him in the battle
against Israel (the battle that killed Saul and his sons) The commanders though
did not trust David and his men because they were Hebrews and could go against
them whilst in battle. I personally think they had all the right to mistrust
David because I don’t think he would have gone against his own nation. But I also
think that in itself was the hand of God since David was the anointed king of
Israel who was to rule after Saul and even though Saul had tried to kill him severally, the Lord had made it clear that he should not harm Saul. God was keeping
him from this blood shed because Saul was still anointed even though the
presence of God had moved from him to David after his rebellion towards God. I
think God did not want him to fight this battle even though he would have gone
to the Israelites side and fought against the philistines because he knew this
would be the battle that would cost Saul and his sons’ life.
That is only the back story, the real story is, David
came back from the camp of the Philistines and went away with his men to Ziklag
only to find the place had been burnt down by the Amalekites and they had
seized all their women, sons and daughters and taken them to captivity. David
and his men wept so much and the people were angry with David and wanted to
stone him for their families had been taken to captivity, including the two
wives of David. David was greatly distressed about this, imagine
hearing people say they want to stone you for the misfortune that has happened
to them, you know David was their captain and they looked upto him so you
can imagine where they would direct their anger and fear? Yes no one but David.
The guy was greatly distressed about this but strengthened himself in God his
Lord. This makes me happy, when the word says he was distressed because it showcases
the emotions this man was feeling at this moment, his humanity and what he did
when he was stressed. David then went and inquired from God if he should go
after the Amalekites and fight them, and God answered him. He told him to go
for surely, he will find them and take back everything they had stolen from the
people. David set out with his men about four hundred men and went in search of
this people, on their way they met a man who was an Egyptian hungry and
frail. They fed him bread and water (does this sound like Jesus? I hope it does
dearest reader) After feeding him they enquired who he was and The Egyptian
turned out to be a slave to an Amalekite, he directed David and his men to
where they were and David fought them and took back the captives including his
two wives. He also took away the spoils with him and went back to Ziklag. I
love this story so much because it shows me the kind of relationship David
shared with God and you can see it in his psalms too. He was vulnerable open
and hid nothing from God. I really recommend reading the story of David, it helps you to better contextualize his words since he was one of the psalmists. David
took his strength from God and did nothing without inquiring from God, I think
that is what made him a great leader…not that he was perfect, far from it. He
knew God was his everything and nothing he had could amount to the presence of
God, he humbled himself before the Lord always and time and time again God
preserved him, delivered him and saved him from his adversaries. He rescued him
and his kingdom has ruled forever just as God promised him. For Jesus the son
of God comes from the genealogy of David, son of Jesse from the tribe of Judah
which means Praise! You know what? That’s exactly why I love the Bible, it is
not just a book full of historic words, the words are living and active, sharper
than a two-edged sword. It took many years before the promise God gave David
came to pass but it did. The Bible has so many years, thousands of years in it
and yet the nature of God and his promises are consistent throughout - from
Genesis to Revelation.
That being said, let’s talk about the cost of following Jesus, because there is a cost. A heavy cost, a cost that requires us to die, Every. Single. Day. To die, carry our cross, deny our flesh and follow him. You know, when I hear Jesus say in John 12:25 that he who loves his life loses it but he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. I thought this is a commandment - yes of course it is - but the more you get closer to God the more you realise that this verse is actually a lifestyle, it happens naturally the more you grow closer to him. Things are shed off you like dust, you become foreign to people you know, your own family and friends even yourself, it feels like a wilderness and an isolating one. He calls you higher and the more he does the more you are renewed and sanctified, conformed to his own image. It is a cost and it is painful to leave behind that which is familiar. It is painful when he is setting you apart from that which felt like home, familiar and warm. He calls you out when you want in, he calls you deeper when the waters are wild and it feels like you are sinking, he calls you in a wilderness with nothing to quench your thirst but him, he calls you to lay down dreams that once fuelled your ambition, he calls you to surrender what feels safe to hold tight, he calls you to walk on water with him and he doesn’t even calm the storm. You can feel the winds beating against you, you can see the darkness that surrounds you, how unstable the waters are and yet he is there in the water, standing, looking deep in your eyes and asking you, do you trust me to leave the boat and follow me? I am not asking you to have deep faith that you will not sink, I am just calling you, to step out and dare to believe that because I am standing in this waters with you, you too will stand. I created your feet and my child you will stand if you look at me and even when you get afraid and feel like you are drowning, I will rescue you immediately. The waters, the darkness and the winds will not have you. Nothing will have you. That’s what following Jesus feels like, saying yes, I trust you even when it doesn’t make sense, even when it breaks you apart even when you are alone even when you want to hide and chose what’s safe and familiar. It is saying yes even when the suffering pierces through you like a sword. It is saying yes even when you see him shed off things that you took pleasure in, your life everything, saying Yes even when I think I am going crazy and don’t know who I am anymore. It is just and utterly saying yes because that’s all he wants from us. In John 12; 26 Jesus says, 'If any one serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also; if anyone serves me, the Father will honour him.'
Following Jesus comes with a heavy cost on our lives and it feels too pricey sometimes but the truth is it is heavy because he calls us to leave everything behind just like the disciples did and follow him. That’s it. That’s basically it. Leave everything behind and follow me, lay your life down as a living sacrifice on my altar because that is our only reasonable worship. Oh it’s hard, its hard but the hardness of it has made me humanise every character in the Bible. Now it’s easier to understand that it’s not all gloomy and roses. It takes sacrifice with every obedience we give God. It takes us understanding and realizing he is everything therefore I can give him anything he asks of me. I don’t think even for a minute it was easy for Abraham to take that journey up a mountain ready to sacrifice a son he had waited for till old age. I don’t even think he was excited about it, he was distressed in my opinion, with each step he took towards the mountain his heart broke a million times and yet he still went because maybe he knew that the Lord I serve is everything therefore I can give him anything he asks of me - even my own son. I don’t think it was easy to leave all he knew and go to a land he knew nothing about just because God told him so. He didn’t even grow up knowing this God that was asking this from him and yet he said yes and obeyed. I don’t think it was easy for Jacob to work fourteen years for his father-in-law who deceived him and used him for his own benefit. I don’t think it was easy for Hannah to wait for a child from God and later surrender the same son she had prayed for in service to God. I don’t think it was easy for David to know he is the anointed king of Israel and still have to escape and roam for years to save his life from the hands of Saul. I don’t think it was easy for Jesus, to even carry Judas as one of his disciples knowing very well, he was a thief and would someday betray him. Knowing what he was about to suffer through for a world that had already rejected his deity as the son of God and still saying 'not my will God but thy will be done.' It was also not easy for Paul to write us such lovely letters in prison being held captive. It was definitely not easy for every servant of God who was used by God in his lifetime, who faced persecution, hatred, had many enemies and still chose to remain faithful and seek the face of God their Lord.
They knew one thing which I hope we will also know.
God is enough, he is enough and he is everything, in himself he is everything
and he is true and living whatever he asks of us cannot even amount to who he
is we give him all of us despite the cost because that is our only reasonable
worship. When we read about them, we get excited, we see the hand of God right?
We praise God, it encourages us and comforts us through our storms, we draw
teachings from their lives even the ones that didn’t obey God fully or live for
him. We say God is good and hold scripture in high esteem because it shows us
the character and nature of God. He reveals himself to us. Did I mention Job?
You know no story gets to me like his story, okay except crucifixion but Job?
Oh God that story is heart wrecking and still he didn’t do what Satan had thought
he would, he never cursed God. Not even once. It makes me wonder you know...what
did all these people know about God that I should know? What did they know
about God that he remained sovereign in their lives despite every suffering
they bore. There has to be something they all carried with them, is it long
suffering? is it love? is it endurance? what is it exactly. I think they seek the
face of God and found nothing else matched him, he is sovereign and worshipping
him is actually a privilege… standing before this holy God and worshipping him
feels like a privilege. Beholding the beauty of God and being in his presence
is what their soul yearned for.
Back to us dear readers, why do we read their stories
with so much awe and tell of the greatness and goodness of God, isn’t because
of their yes and the cost of their service to God that God’s will was manifested in their lifetime? Isn’t it the beauty of God’s will that makes the difference
between those who obeyed God and chose him and the one who loved his life so
much and couldn’t lose it for God’ sake? I am asking you these questions
because God’s will for our lives will feel like a heavy cost and it is because
God is revealing himself to us. When we seek his face all things that are not
of him are shed off from us, everything that is false falls in his presence
like dust and it may look hard and painful and feel like a thorn daily but I am
telling you his will is prefect. His will for you runs forever, his love for
you is so deep he wants you close to him in his arms because that is where you
belong. Things must be shed off because in his presence your original identity
shines through you and what is false comes off because we were made in the
image of God and after his own likeness; this is your true identity. We were
always meant to carry the glory of God.
I come here to say even when it feels like walking
through the valley of the shadow of death his rod and thy staff will comfort
you and one truth will remain with you forever. That God is your shepherd. His
purpose for you has people connected to it because our yes gives God a chance
to show himself through us and all glory goes back to him. David and Saul were
anointed by the son who Hannah had surrendered to God for his service. Samuel
became one of the greatest prophets in Israel that even after his death Saul
still sought his spirit because he felt God was silent with him, that is how powerful he was. The
friendship between Abraham and God gave room for God to foretell what he was going
to do in the world by giving his only son as a sacrifice for sin by telling
Abraham to sacrifice his own son knowing fully well he would give him a ram
instead. He showed us there and then what he would do with Jesus his son, and
he let Abraham in on this, letting him feel the grief the surrender and the
love he felt. A friendship so deep we can only pray to experience this kind of
intimacy with God.
He is a faithful God, choosing him is choosing life. I
don’t know if what I have written makes sense honestly, my thoughts are all
over the place but I really hope they do. If there is one thing I want you to
carry with you is this; Following Jesus comes with a cost but God is not asking
you to do what he himself hasn’t done and he is not depending on you to fully
surrender to him…he only wants one thing and only one. A 'Yes Jesus, I know you
are God the saviour of the world and my redeemer, you reign above everything, I
know you are sovereign and nothing can stand before you, they all bow down for
your holiness transcends everything. Father, come into my life today be my Lord
and saviour let your will be done in my life, as it was in heaven…be the author
of my story take the pen and write, call me higher to know you and make me more
like you and less of this world. I need you; I have tried to do this life by
myself and I can’t, its hard depressing confusing and lonely so today I choose
to lean on the one who is life.' Jesus Christ! Now watch him come and become
your eternal captain. Peace 🕊️.
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