Falling in Love

 When I tell you I wrote this title hours before coming back to write the body you'll think am joking...I thought I needed inspiration,the topic came randomly in my mind and since Thursday was the next day I quickly wrote it down...as a writer my mind is always active, sometimes I feel inspired to write, sometimes I feel spirit led, sometimes I fear reading my own notes because i don't want to uncover what I wrote,I just want to release and move on without having to sit down and feel the emotions...but the only reason I wrote this topic and feared coming back is it intimidated me,as much as I wanted to tell myself I lacked inspiration or felt spirit led,the truth is the title made me run for the hills....when I wrote it down I knew exactly what I would write but the moment it was written everything vanished to the thin air and...so did I...

But menn here I am, letting you know I don't know what to say to you about falling in love,it's not really my go to conversations...but love is a beautiful thing,Brene Brown yes I will tag that woman again and again because her books made me face my fears,made me walk in places that scared me and they made me want to feel my emotions...she really came hard for me and I thank God tremendously for her life,please check out her books...she wrote a topic about love in her book;the gifts of imperfection and let me tag my favourite definition of the word love...

"We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow,A connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them—we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame,blame,disrespect,betrayal,and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows.Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged,healed and reared,"

 This is just a small part of the said topic,imagine the whole topic,no imagine the whole book... You've got to read it...it's like she takes you in a serene quite place,a place to feel your emotions reflect and unlearn...you know, falling in love is something most people dream of,most people aspire to know how it feels like to be in love and to be loved back just as much,to be consumed by this powerful emotion...it's a powerful emotion in fact love is one of the most powerful emotions humans feel...think about it,how many books,songs, movies and poems have been made to try and explain the word love...let's get personal how do you feel when surrounded by people that love you?we feel safe,seen and accepted...we feel free to be ourselves without the ghost of shame and rejection lurking around...

Once I hated the word love,I thought it made humans weak,the cause of destruction,I resented the fact control and love don't go hand in hand because for me to love and love freely,I need to let go of the need to always be in control and let my heart feel...I am proud to announce a great deal of unlearning took place😂 in my quest of learning this emotion,learning the reason it was termed a powerful emotion,I found out love is a beautiful thing,and the reason it's so beautiful is it's originality....we say God is love,his nature is all loving.When we know God...when we first encounter God we encounter him from a place of love,we feel loved to a point it makes as ashamed of our flawed selves,to a point we doubt how he can love us with all our shortcomings and sins...when we experience God's love our only prayer is every human being alive will not die before experiencing this kind of love this kind of freedom the comfort and peace that comes with the love of God...I wish I can tell you to love yourself and love your neighbour...but how can we love ourselves and love others without understanding where the word originated from, understanding where we can source it from... understanding how we can love...and am not talking about the worldly love,no that give take kind of love is just so cheap and unsustainable compared to the depth of God's love....compared to the authentic flawless unconditional love of God...that love is  pure bliss,nothing of this world yet given to us through his son Jesus Christ.

I was curious,the only reason am speaking about it right now is because I know how much God's love can overflow in us, every part then flow through us...it's this simple,God fell in love with his creation...he was pleased with what he had created...he was pleased with his son...he calls us his people...when he created this world he was pleased with his work...in fact  when he created man he breathed his breathe in us,made us a part of him... throughout the Bible God keeps telling us how much he loves us how he will never leave nor forsake us how he will protect us...there are so many words that show us how much our God loves us,so many that's why I can't help calling the Bible God love letters to us...in it he shows us his nature,who he is and he is love...this was the one commandment Jesus gave us that we may love...I mean,Just how deep is this love?

When I think of life...pain and the trauma caused by pain...it explains why many of us or let me speak for myself...are reluctant when it comes to love and struggled with this emotion...it's hard to love when you've been hurt before,it's harder to love when we don't know how to love,how to operate when it comes our way,how to let go of control and just feel it...as humans our first instinct is to protect ourselves to shield ourselves because we know what's coming...when we open ourselves to love we open ourselves to being hurt and true love makes us vulnerable for both if we are truly honest...no am not talking about the romantic love but love in general...how we love ourselves how we love our families our friends how we love strangers how we love God...

With love comes trust with trust comes vulnerability with vulnerability comes opening ourselves up...when I told God to teach me love,I said it from a place of I want to know this word,I want to know how I can love myself so authentically and love my neighbour...I want to know how to love because in my own capacity I don't...in my own way I don't even want to know if knowing means letting go of control...I needed to come undone and just be honest with myself because friends if we want to love again and love freely we must heal and how can we heal if we are not honest with ourselves about ourselves...how can we heal if we are not ready to come undone to God...no matter how ugly it looks like to God just coming to him as you are is so pleasing..he wants every detail of your life..

Love has its origin,and the origin is God...he is love...no one can teach you how to love more than he can because he is love...I've been reading so much about trust and letting go...I don't know if I should post this or just sit quite...but I know if I will post this,maybe I posted it at the right time...exactly when you needed it..when you needed someone to remind you God loves you and he is Love baby...he is Love and he doesn't love the pretty stuff only,he loves everything about you,he loves how you laugh how you walk how you talk how you cry or get dramatic how you worry so much he loves everything about you because he created you...he marvels when he thinks about his child because to him you are a masterpiece he took his time with you he made sure you were perfect just the way you are,in your own unique way he put his crown on you and made you his forever..everytime I write before God put us in our mother's womb he knew us am not just saying it to pass time I want us to believe it,to let the word sink in our spirit so that anytime you take your Bible and read it baby the word will come alive for you and right there and then it will speak to you in ways only the word of God can...he loves you he loves me he loves us..so much that he brought us in this space together..that we may be reminded how much he loves us and how he longs for us to love him too...to give him our heart and make our being his home too..the same way he has a place in heaven just for you....this week God has been convicting me on something...Can I let  you in on it..well I will nonetheless🥺my days are usually busy unlike back in school,I had all day...spending time with God was not an issue but these days time has become a costly asset...i love reading my devotions in the morning and listening to my worship songs but this week I felt God wanted me to spend more time with him...not my sneaky times,a quick morning fix to start my day right but to spend some quality time with him just me and him...i felt it deep in my spirit and it moved me like God wants more of my time and I don't give it to him yet I never lack time to binge watch YouTube wow😅anyway I decided to create time for us and am still fixing it in my routine...everything takes time and effort to become a habit...

Yesterday I came home and took my Bible this topic love intimidates me and I wanted to hear from God about it..i wanted to feel I can do this...the verse I read wasn't making any sense I couldn't understand it and I wanted to understand it so badly..i closed my Bible and went to sleep but then I remembered my favourite verse Jeremiah 29...quickly I took out my Bible ready to say it over and over again but I stopped at Lamentations a verse I had highlighted back in highschool,the pink highlighter drew me to that verse and I read it...can I say I was this close to crying because the verse was speaking to me,the season I am in,my doubts about this article,it blessed me so much and I will write it for anyone who doubts the love of God,his plan for you and your life...Lam 3:22-27 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,his mercies never come to an end.They are new every morning,great is thy faithfulness...The Lord is my portion,says my soul,therefore I will hope in him...the Lord is good to those who wait for him to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord...It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

" I don't know am still learning about love I feel so unqualified to speak about if am honest with y'all..yet the far I have learned deepens my hunger for it..."When I tell you I wrote this before reading that verse and it stewed my confidence in this article you won't believe it...
Am not really a romantic person I don't even like romantic movies especially the soapy ones. I never understood why one would cry after being told they are loved...It seemed so stupid to me but I remember the First time I told God I loved him and felt it in my heart...I literally cried...I felt so much love in me and since then I've been telling God I love him and I want to fall in love with him everyday day anew...love is just so deep,I felt it in my bones and it was so soothing...I felt safe....and to think this is nothing compared to the love of God for us...meenn I hope we all get to experience it and feel it because it's already ours,it's already here all we have to do is tap into it and let it consume us with all its glory...Peace🌼