When nothing is left standing...

 My people! I wanted to drag that word because am extra in nature...but for the sake of grammar let's stick to that,catch me in person for more vibes on vibes😂I know I know...I promised to be consistent,to post weekly after the so called exams but here is another silly excuse...last week i went for a nostalgic heart tearing trip in Mombasa...I just couldn't post even though I had an article ready days before the trip... my heart was going through a rollercoaster of emotions during that amazing trip....my family and I lived in Mombasa for eight years and that place holds so many memories that are dear to me and others that trigger me so bad...I came back and I knew I had to post the next Thursday merely because I can't be inconsistent anymore,it sucks...I wanted to post that article today because it's so beautiful and it spoke to me in so many ways but I have something else in my heart that I need to release.. not because of the readers I love y'all but I needed to write and post this because in doing so am realising something that needs to be released.

I feel like I've been vulnerable with this whole blog but careful,careful with my steps,making sure I didn't say things that made me feel too raw and naked,that exposed me...do what God wants me to do and be careful at the same time,I can't be too vulnerable,I can't say things as they are,I'll just say what needs to be said what he put in my heart without really exposing what's in my heart...so for this reason I will post that article at a later date,today...today I want to have an honest conversation with y'all...a little chit chat,nothing big just you and me engaging...conversing through words...I am done with school,yes I did my final exams and am done,am back home...you know when people see you the first question is always; so what's next,are you looking for internship,what's your plan...I don't know about you, whether you can relate a season in your life where you didn't know what step to take, what's your next or how to move...when all you saw ahead of you was blankness...and people enquiring about your next plan or move just amplified your biggest fears ultimately making you more anxious...

Am in that season of life I guess,trying to figure what I need to do,trying to hope for the best yet having this constant fear my plans may stumble and I may get stuck in the mud when trying to cross the river...fumbling blindly...I had an amazing article but I felt this urge to come here and just be vulnerable and raw with you guys,release my worries and fears hoping someone may relate and know they are not alone going through a stage in life where things seem blank and you don't know what to do.. if somebody asked me today what's your next plan...my answer would be I don't know...I really don't know...other people may think its lazy or confused fellow but truly it's okay not to know...it's okay not to have things figured out and just breathing through the blankness...I can't come here and pretend am okay with it,am obviously not I love having a plan,i love the organization and structure a plan promises....being in this state frankly makes me worried and anxious...makes me feel inadequate somehow,doubtful of my future...and its in this state where I got this article's title....when nothing is left standing...

Give it a moment,let the word marinate and sink in your spirit before we dig in...when nothing is left standing...sometimes we don't know what to do,the season that was much comfortable is over and now we are thrust into the harsh realities of life,living,working paying taxes God can we talk about the taxes guys..organizing our lives...and this time baby it's full blown right in our faces,nothing partial...the shift makes us nervous, terrified and anxious...our plans may not go as expected,infact they may fall apart all together and everything is left blank...life is always in motion that's what we are told,change is inevitable...our posture must always be open to growth and elevation...this makes us better people more fulfilled people, we are told...but sometimes growth is scary.. not knowing what to expect or how to move is scary change terrifies us because the norm is always comfortable and the fact life is in motion seasons just like the weather are always changing forcing us to face the harsh reality...we must move we can't remain stuck forever no matter how hard or challenging it feels we must move and embrace change...even if nothing is left standing, especially when nothing is left standing,even if nothing is going as planned...even if we feel left out,behind or not enough...we must move,and sometimes moving is staying quite and listening,listening to ourselves listening to God staying close by the river... because if he knows the plan he has for me if he knows what lays ahead of me then he definitely knows this time was meant to come,a time where I felt blank and the unknown scared me,a time where I didn't know what my life was meant to look like and the odds seemed against me,a time where I would question every bit of the person I thought I will become...he knows it...and he knows when nothing is left standing when we are having a breakdown....our hearts are opening up to him.

We are open to listening to him,when nothing is left standing his word in our lives is left firm and strong...we then acknowledge him as our anchor and firm foundation through every season and life tribulation...I needed to write this and just release my heart because I want us to recognize how instrumental it is and how much it means to God when we release our sound in the midst of nothingness..when we don't know what to do,how to move,when all we have is our mouth to sing our praise and worship him...when all we have is our hearts and bodies to obey him and do what he wants us to do trusting he is with us,that even when our backs are against the wall he will still hold us down and I don't have to keep quiet or stay quiet until everything is okay,fine and pretty,I can praise him worship him walk in power and embrace the power he gave me in the midst of the blankness...

Yes I don't know what to do what to expect but I know this I serve a God who has a plan for me amd you,a God who believes in you and me even when we doubt our potential and in this realisation we can go through the motions of life together,we can partner with God...we can come together with our messy emotions and be vulnerable knowing our God his spirit is moving through us and his presence is holding us down hugging us till we are so warm from his love and comfort.. my article was about messy by the way...the article I wanted to post before this word came and turned things upside down...now you know the title...anyway all I am saying is when nothing is left standing God our anchor is left standing strong and mighty in our lives and we don't have to have things figured out but we can trust him with what he is doing currently in our lives,we can release our sound our gift our talent our truth we can stay in a position of praise and worship believing he is with us and he is going nowhere...so girl boy...yes my people let's get up and do our part...let's release everything that we are no matter the season we are in because it pleases God how much we trust him to do so,how much we trust his power in our lives,how he will move and how everything will work out for our good...and the joy of the Lord will be our strength...his joy as a matter of fact is our strength.

His peace his supernatural strength engulfs us,his love is overflowing in us...and he is working when all we see is blankness let's trust he is working,always working because he is...and may we abide in the shadow of the Almighty..let me plug Psalms 91 because that's my favourite verse when am going through a blank season when I doubt everything and when everything is messy from my thoughts to my emotions...it empowers me go read it I hope it empowers and strengthens you as well...I love y'all and it was nice realising my thoughts,I feel free and stronger...baby I hope you do the same,may God be with you and may you receive whatever your hoping praying and waiting for,may you see God's hand in them and when you do let there be no doubt that it was God,your God who did it.. in Jesus name Amen. Peace