In The Places that Scare You...

 Hello dear readers, happy valentine's...you know what, I wanted to write about love honestly 😂I kept thinking about that word and we can't talk about love without talking about Jesus...he is at the core of it....he is love and that is the greatest commandment he left behind...that we may follow his example,his model and walk in it...I will dig deep in future about this amazing word...

Today though...today I want us to take a moment and think about who we were as little children...that bubbly,jovial, confident child who knew nothing about the darkness of the world she was born into because all she saw was the light...the smile on her face every time visitors came with a token or little present ..I don't know if you were like me but I admit... I was more  concerned about the presents than the   visitors,you know the sweets,the cake😂children are just children you know,we were never afraid to tell people how well we  performed,the new bicycle...how well we could dance or sing,the new dog...it rolled off our tongue...yet as life went on we changed,we became reserved,we held back,we started feeling who we were is not enough,the world's standards is what is enough...why though?what went wrong...

Maybe we got bullied,maybe our parents told us to behave and stay calm,like the neighbour's kids😂...maybe the comparison succeeded in making us feel less,not worthy enough...the rejection,the abandonment...I wanted to write about love but God led me here...I was just randomly listening to my favourite Woman Evolve pastor Sarah Jakes as she talked about nurturing our inner child....and I felt conflicted...this whole inner child conversations never sat well with me...and then Jesus went ahead and said if we wanted to be partakers of the kingdom of heaven we will have to become like little children...why why....what does the child have....and as I listened it slowly sank in my spirit that that child in us,that jovial,happy,carefree,honest,pure child is who God desires us to be...to have childlike faith...but how can we be that child when we lost her,she grew up after the abuse,the rejection,the abandonment,the comparison...she saw life in a different lens...she changed...but I have something I would like to share with you...I think that child is still inside our soul,maybe she never grew up,we just left her and became a different version in order to prevent the pain from ever occurring again...maybe she is still in there,hoping that one day we will come back for her again...maybe just maybe our true authentic self  starts by us recognizing the child in us and marrying her to the divine able woman we desire to be...maybe that's what Jesus meant when he said we must become like little children... because he knew we are still pure,still confident,still honest,still giving,still trusting without any hesitation...he knew that part still lives in us...he knew if only we could tap into that child,nurture her,hold her hand,embrace her and walk with her into the future...God could use us to built his kingdom on earth...God could use us since we are finally trusting him fully like a child...no insecurities,no pain just us...because that little child,no matter what she went through,is still hopeful...

Where did you leave her?where did you leave her?that day you decided enough is enough and changed....was it that fateful day the bullying took a toll on your self esteem?when you felt no one understood you?when the comparison took away your authenticity at last?when lack made you feel unworthy of abudance?when being alone made you realize the only way to combat this feelings of loneliness is by being self sufficient?when no one believed when you talked about the abuse,making you blame yourself for being too naive...where did you leave that beautiful child...it matters to God,he knows the pain and it may seem small to you compared to all the stories you have heard about childhood traumas but to God,it's big...it matters to him...you may see the abandonment,the drugs,the rejection,the promiscuity but God sees  the pain behind it,the hurt behind it,the trust issues behind it...you left the child not because you wanted to but because the pain was too much.. but God had her all along..he held that little boy,that little girl in his arms waiting for the day you would come back for them....and the only way we can become the best version of who we are in Christ Jesus is if we have the strength and courage to go back for her,that child,hug her so tightly and whisper your love...let her teach you how to love again,let her teach you how to believe in your dreams again,to trust again,to be authentic and accepting of your true self,to see life from a bright positive side,to be carefree and confident...she never left...she was waiting on you to nurture her....

Maybe then we could be a child but with a body,mind,stature of an adult...we could be trusting but wise at the same time,we could show who we are and what we got without any fear of rejection..we could be our true selves...